|
So your preteen wants a phone? |
|
 My friend's ten-year-old son went missing for 2 hours last Friday.
After much frantic searching, his parents found that he had gone over to a friend’s house to do some project work. Though he had contacted their house phone after school ended for the day, he could not leave a message as the mailbox was full. It would seem that this episode ended well, except when he said, "See, you should have given me a handphone."
The cellphone issue had been a testy one for some time. His parents even wondered if their boy had purposely gone AWOL just to make them wish that he indeed had a phone. All the same, he did get his wish – a very basic phone which he could only use to call home and a few other pre-selected numbers. No MMS, internet, radio, mp3 player.. nothing.
Having a cellphone may may seem the easy way of keeping track of a child’s whereabouts, but there is so much potential for abuse and distraction – too much yakking and texting, cellphone bullying and of course, high phone bills. Plus, many schools don’t allow cellphones to be carried around during lessontime and insist that they be kept in lockers. So what’s the point of getting them in the first place?
It all boils down to… peace of mind. Most parents I know are aware of potential pitfalls, but nobody wants to be caught in a ‘what if…’ situation. Some friends I know have devised interesting methods to help manage their children’s cellphone use. Two of these are:
1) Signing a cellphone contract
We’re not talking about the telco contract (though its easy enough to add on another line nowadays for just a few extra dollars a month). This is a contract between parents and child, with basic grounds rules such as the following:
- no calling / using of phone at home unless absolutely necessary (house phone to be used)
- to keep within an agreed total calltime and no of SMSes for the month OR phone bill limit
- no bringing of the phone to the dinner table
- no sending of threatening / bullying messages to others
- to ensure the phone is always charged and switched ON when your child brings it along outside the home
The type and number of rules are really up to the parents and child. The main thing here is to ensure that both parties are very clear on what would happen if the rules are broken e.g. the phone would be taken back. Signing a contract is a very ‘adult thing’ to do, and my friend who did this remarked that her 11-year-old was quite proud to be granted this responsibility, and so far she has not faced any problems.
2) Sign-IN / Sign-out System
For those with younger kids, especially if they tend to have a regular daily routine, this option helped parents to limit the use of the phone to only when necessary, e.g. when the child would need to contact the parent later regarding pick-up time after a field trip or delayed enrichment class.
Whether you think your preteen needs or should have a cellphone, most parents I spoke to agree on one thing though - in cellphone-crazy Singapore, it is only a matter of time before teens start asking for their own phone. As such, one point of view is that if you start exposing them young, way before they starting socializing on their own with their teenage friends, this gives them time to learn to manage their own cellphone use.
What are your thoughts on this issue? Do you think preteens should be allowed to own a cellphone? Share your thoughts and experiences with us.
|
|
|
Our e-learning team had an unexpected visitor yesterday, 7 April (please see post-note below).
 The poor thing was quite disoriented but we did what we could to help, and a colleague even took the newbie home with her. Our friend will be with us for a while until it learns to feed itself and fly… well,it’s a baby mynah. Our The little thing was squeaking away in a plant pot at the office porch when it was discovered. How it got from tree to porch is anyone’s guess, but for now, my colleague Nancy is the protective guardian of a portable mynah sanctuary (a blue lunchbox carrier actually). Our Science editor speculated that Mynie might be ready to fly two to three weeks.
So as we buzzed around the little pipsqueak (yes that’s the sound it makes), some questions naturally presented themselves…
Where did it come from? (Mostly likely a nest from one of the nearby trees.)
Where shall we put it? (Somebody produced a plastic box and a towel.)
What will it eat? (A good soul dug up some worms and a few hard whacks later, little Mynie was happily gobbling up fresh worm mash while the squeamish scuttled back to our desks. We’re happy to report that its Day 2 now, and Mynie seems happy with vegetarian fare – banana-flavoured baby food.)
What are we going to do with it? (Well for now, Mynie’s got a starring role in our upcoming Science video.)
As we watch Mynie in the days to come, no doubt we’ll learn new things about her (actually we’re not quite sure whether it’s a ‘him’ or ‘her’ yet) in the process of caring for our little visitor. If you’ve had the experience of caring for a lost kitten or other pet, you’ll know what I mean.
As a matter of fact, children – being naturally curious – are often the ones most intrigued by pets and other unexpected additions to the household. If you’ve been in this situation, you may have been peppered by tons of questions and requests ranging from the expected (‘Can I hold him?’) to the worrying (‘She seems to be feeling cold… shall we put her in the microwave oven for a while?’). Though there are some risks involved, there is much to gain by letting our kids learn first-hand about caring for pets or even a plant by letting them get involved in the process and in doing so, learn what works and what doesn’t. Schools call this experiential learning but as the phrase infers, experiential learning is learning by experience, learning by doing and learning by taking risks. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
The wonderful thing about experiential learning is that it has the ability to engage learners at a personal level. When children are kept interested or are having fun in the process, it helps them to remember what they have learnt for a longer period of time. However, just going through an experience (“Do It”) does not quite add up to experiential learning. Ask questions about the experience (“What happened?”), get your child to reflect on it (“What’s Important?”) and encourage your child to think about how the lessons learnt could be applied to other situations (“So What? Now What?”).
And while you do this...you may just find yourself learning something new about your children as well.
Post-note on 12 April: Despite the TLC and concern, our little charge took a turn for the worse over the weekend and left us this morning. Bye, little Mynie... for 'chirping' (though ever so briefly) into our lives.
What are your thoughts on this article? We would love to hear from you.
|
|
 My neighbouring HDB block was plunged into darkness at 830 pm last Saturday.
Well, not quite - it would have been heartening (though a little unnerving) if every single flat had taken part in Earth Hour, but we did notice at least 10 units switching off their lights. It’s a start, to say the least.
Though this year saw an increase of Earth Hour participants in Singapore to 400 companies, total reduction in electricity consumption – 23 megawatts - was only roughly half that of last year’s Earth Hour, when power consumption fell by 42 megawatts. This drop represented just 0.021 per cent of average electricity consumption for Saturdays, according to the Energy Market Authority, EMA (Today Online, 29 Mar 2010).
There is every likelihood that while more lights were turned off, more air-cons and electrical appliances stayed ON. Just think - how many households turned off their lights but continued to watch programmes on their flatscreen TVs or engage in webchats? Well, including mine, somewhat. My kids’ granny refused to be parted from her regular Korean dramas on cable but I did try something different with the kids – learning about candles and shadows in the kitchen.
I didn’t think this would distract the 5 and 9 year-old from Disney Channel and Nintendo Wii for a full hour but surprise, surprise – it did. The questions came hard and fast – Why is the wax so hot? How to make cat and dog shadows? (the Dad could only manage rabbits…) Can we pour some wax in the fishtank and see if it floats? (NO.) How do magic relighting candles work? (had to do a bit of online research for this one… AFTER Earth Hour was over.) And while answering these questions, we weaved in a bit of Science revision about changes of state (since exams were not too far away… no harm right?).
All in all, we gained more than just learning to do without the lights, TV, computer and aircon for an hour – it was a reminder that with the right spirit and a few props thrown in, kids can have fun and learn without electricity-guzzling gadgets. As adults, sometimes it is too easy and convenient to forget that this IS possible.
Undoubtedly, we must go beyond Earth Hour if we want to make any substantial difference to our overall energy consumption. Hence, it is heartening to read that so many companies – in Singapore and elsewhere - are going beyond Earth Hour to put in place long-term measures to reduce electricity consumption. As for my household, we’ll try to do our a bit a little more often, not just by doing without the lights and other conveniences we take for granted, but by making the most of such periods to do things together as a family, that we otherwise won’t.
Not much, not enough? Well, little grains of sand, I say.
Did you or your family take part in Earth Hour? What did your kids have to say about the experience? What are YOUR thoughts about it? Do share with us. |
|
Would you befriend your 13-year-old on Facebook? |
 Though naysayers have predicted that Facebook will eventually decrease in popularity and die out when networks of Facebook friends get too large and messages more impersonal, that day has yet to come. Are you on Facebook? And if you have older children who are on Facebook, are they friends with YOU?
Being on Facebook is like putting up your social life and daily schedule for everyone to see – literally your FACE to the world. Most parents whose kids are on Facebook would do well to follow this simple guideline that should apply to them as well as their children: no listing of private particulars or details, photos, videos or anything that you would not want to share with strangers or casual acquaintances. However, these aside – there is much that young people may NOT want to share with their parents in the interest of wanting their ‘private space’, and hence many would rather their parents NOT ‘befriend’ them. However, as a parent, wouldn’t you want to ensure the safety of your children, especially with cyber predators lurking around the Internet? This is a tricky dilemma, and what works for your family may not work for others. Check out these views to help you decide what’s best for you.
“My Mum is my friend, and on Facebook too!”
As mentioned above, being your kid’s Facebook friend may help you keep an eye on your teen’s general circle of friends and what he or she is doing during spare time, especially if your teen enjoys posting regular status updates. It can even alert you to a time management problem if you think your teen is spending too much time doing this. Generally speaking, if your children are barely in their teens and want to be or are already on Facebook, it is a better idea to do so only on condition that they befriend you. Many parents who keep tabs on their kids thru Facebook also say that it helps them get a sense of their children’s emotional well-being and state of mind – something that may not always be easy if they hardly see their kids due to clash of work and school hours. It can also help you understand your teen better in terms of trends, likes and dislikes.
My Mum wants to befriend me on Facebook – NO WAY!’
You have a good and open relationship with your teenager, and yet he or she would rather you not befriend them on Facebook – why? It happens to the ‘liberal’ of parents, and usually, because of the P word – Privacy. Not wanting their parents to befriend them doesn’t necessarily mean there are things online they would get in trouble for if you were to find out. For many, being able to keep one side of their lives private gives them a greater sense of independence and control over their lives. If your teens are managing their schoolwork and free time well, then you may want to allow them this privilege of trust in them, and they may respect you all the more for it. All the same, some grounds rules should apply – that they don’t display personal particulars, risque photos/videos or details (should they even be taking such photos in the first place – remember the Tammy incident??), and don’t arrange meetups with strangers they meet via Facebook.
Note that even if your teen would rather you not befriend them on Facebook, there is quite a bit you can still find out – you can see how many friends your kids have, what kinds of friends they are, and importantly, you can track what kinds of friends they add to their list over time, which which may give you more insight into your children.
What's your own stand on this issue? Are you Friends with your teens and older children on Facebook? Let us know  |
|
|
