by Jeniyanti Rijanto

Jeniyanti Rijanto is a specialist psychologist in private practice with a passion for helping children with learning difficulties, especially dyslexia. Read her profile

"It is much more effective to praise children for their effort put in rather than for how smart they are."

 Often, I hear parents telling me how difficult it is to get their children to try again, especially when the task is difficult. Despite praising them 'a million times', many children just prefer to throw  in the white towel and give up. So if consistent praising doesn't work to develop perseverance, then what?

It's actually how you praise them. Now recent research has showed that it is much more effective to praise children for their effort put in rather than for how  smart they are. Children who are constantly praised for their intelligence will learn to protect this image and not dare to risk anything that would affect it. When faced with a challenging task, they would prefer not to attempt it so as to avoid failure. They may also give up more easily and succumb to the feeling of helplessness.

On the other hand, children who are praised for their effort will continue to tackle the difficult tasks with the belief that they can do it if they try hard enough. They also have a greater sense of control as they can dictate the amount of effort they want to put in and hence developed stronger resilience.

So the next time you want to say to your child "you did it! You are so smart", think again. It's more helpful to say "well done. I know you put in a lot of hard work".

 

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