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 So you’ve been making sure that your child hits the books regularly, eats right and gets enough sleep. Is that enough? We share 10 tips gathered from educators and counselors on how YOU can do your bit as a parent during the exam period.
1. Their schedule, Your schedule
As early as possible, have a copy of your child’s exam schedule in your diary or planner and if necessary, check with the school if any details appear to be left out. Discuss as a family the daily arrangements before and during the exam period, especially if there are any changes to be made. This will let your child know that they are not alone - the whole family is involved and committed towards helping him or her prepare for the exams.
2. Eat Right (and we mean YOU too)
While it is important that your child eats right, don’t neglect your own nutrition either. It won’t do to fall sick and transmit the illness to your family, especially during this particular time!
3. Little things matter too
Extra hugs, cooking a favourite dish, a few minutes together just talking about your child’s feelings and experiences each day can help make your child feel more secure and loved during this stressful period. For that matter, don’t stop the TLC even after the exam period is over!
4. One STRESS at a time
If possible, try to manage your workload so that you won’t have to manage major projects or deliverables at work during the same week that your child is having exams. If this is not possible, see where you and your spouse can share duties to help to ‘spread out’ the stress. Some parents even take leave so that they can totally ‘focus’ on their children’s exam preparation. This gives you time to monitor and help your child better, but be careful not to ‘breathe’ down your child’s neck either.
5. Show the silver lining (and the pot of gold…)
Give your children something to look forward to at the end of the exam period as a reward for all the effort put in, and preferably something that is their choice. It could be something as simple as a planned movie and dinner outing to make up for the weeks of ‘social sacrifice’, or something more substantial. This is not the same as dangling a reward for good performance, though that is also a form of incentive. To know that you care enough to show your appreciation for their hard work and diligence regardless of the final outcome can go a long way towards raising your child’s spirits during this period.
6. Don’t pre-test JUST before the test
On your way to the exam venue, keep the conversation light and neutral. Try to avoid ‘testing’ your child’s recall of facts or principles. It is well and good if your child can answer them, but if your child can’t, it can lead to more nervousness and insecurity which may affect exam performance.
7. Be on call
Have your child contact you once the paper is over – though it may be unsaid, sometimes all he or she wants after sitting for a stressful exam is to hear comforting and reassuring words from a loved one. Knowing when the exam is over may also help YOU breathe more easily! You may also want to stay contactable just in case anything happens during the course of the exam. Though we would rather not get such news, students do fall ill or get panic attacks in the exam hall.
8. Compare them NOT
As students leave the exam venue, its not uncommon for them to discuss among one another about how they think they fared, and to get quizzed by their parents once they are past the gates (Guilty??). Do show your concern by asking your child about the experience, but stop short of extensive grilling or comparing your child’s feedback vs those of other students. You and your child’s time would be better spent by moving on and concentrating on the next exam.
9. Keep in mind the BIG picture
Exams are not the be-all and end-all, and even if you find it hard to think otherwise, try not to let your worries and fears overwhelm your child. While some children will take a positive view of a major exam and use its significance to spur them on, others may feel more stressed out by just ‘how important’ this examination is, which may worsen exam jitters.
10. Hear what they’re really SAYING
Above all, be sensitive to what your child says and does. Young people often speak thoughtlessly, and it may not be a true reflection of their feelings. For example, your child may be rather worried about the exams but does not want to give this impression to his or her friends, in order to not appear ‘uncool’. When talking about the exams, give your child time to compose his or her thoughts. Take some time to listen and reflect upon what your child says, while noting other aspects of your child’s behaviour and body language.
Do you have other tips to share? We would love to hear from you.
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